Sauerkraut Here!
I'd like to take a moment and bitch. For those of you who know me best, I don't share. I take that back. I share, but only some things, and with some people. You see there is no in between for me. It's either black, or it's white. I love you, or I hate you.
Example: If someone I love (Lets say Posh) asks me if she can borrow a towel, I say yes! Why? Because I love her. However, if Posh and I were eating at Chili's and she reached across and took a bite of my food I would probably try and stab her with my fork. Now if I hate you and you asked me to borrow a towel I would flash you a look so evil you'd think I was envisioning your murder in my head and the only thing I would lend you would be my body behind the wheel of a vehicle I planned to run you over with.
Why am I telling you this? Recently, my beloved grandmother shared the news that my cousins (John Popper and Paris Hilton) would be joining us for Christmas. To begin, I fucking hate Christmas! Second, I refuse to share my grandparents with this fuckheads! I know what you're thinking. "Why are you being so harsh? This is your family." I don't give a fuck! And here's why: John and Paris only contact my grandparents when the want something... Money. Other than that my grandparents never see or hear from these fuckheads. Now my grandparents defend them by saying "Well they live in Pumpkin, it's hard for them to make a trip to Tootsie Pop." Fuck that shit. I fucking live in Jolley Rancher and I manage to make a trip home to see them on a regular basis. Not only that I at least pick up the fucking phone and call them once a week, just to say "Hello!" Paris hasn't come to see my grandparents since 2000 and John Popper hasn't been to Tootsie Pop since 1996! The only time my grandparents see these fuckheads is when my grandparents go visit them! Then they stay stuffed in a hotel room until they take these fuckheads to dinner or the mall! Now, so you understand why I'm pissed? I refuse to share my grandparents with these fuckheads! I'm not going to let them steal my grandparents time, money, food, and most importantly my bed! When I go home, I do not stay at my mothers house, I stay at my grandparents house. That bedroom is known as my bedroom. It's always been my bedroom and it will always remain my bedroom. Although I hate fucking Christmas, my family knows I will be home for the holidays. So it is to be assumed that I will be staying at my grandparents house, because I always do. So, for my grandparents to tell these fuckheads they can stay at their house and sleep in my room, I will not allow it! Those fuck heads can get a fucking hotel! I'm so enraged that I have to share my family, my time, and my bedroom with these fuckheads. I don't want to see these fuckheads, I don't want to talk to them, I don't want to buy them a gift for a fucking holiday I don't support, I will not entertain them, and I will not pretend to be nice to them. I plan to destroy! I will get into a lot of arguments, I will receive a ton of slaps across the face for my smart ass comments, and maybe some dirty looks but I will win the battle! I will destroy!!!
*Posh - Prepare yourself! For I will be in the mood to raise hell in the land of Tootsie Pop and destroy all that get in my path! Prepare now! For we will battle for justice!
I'd like to take a moment and bitch. For those of you who know me best, I don't share. I take that back. I share, but only some things, and with some people. You see there is no in between for me. It's either black, or it's white. I love you, or I hate you.
Example: If someone I love (Lets say Posh) asks me if she can borrow a towel, I say yes! Why? Because I love her. However, if Posh and I were eating at Chili's and she reached across and took a bite of my food I would probably try and stab her with my fork. Now if I hate you and you asked me to borrow a towel I would flash you a look so evil you'd think I was envisioning your murder in my head and the only thing I would lend you would be my body behind the wheel of a vehicle I planned to run you over with.
Why am I telling you this? Recently, my beloved grandmother shared the news that my cousins (John Popper and Paris Hilton) would be joining us for Christmas. To begin, I fucking hate Christmas! Second, I refuse to share my grandparents with this fuckheads! I know what you're thinking. "Why are you being so harsh? This is your family." I don't give a fuck! And here's why: John and Paris only contact my grandparents when the want something... Money. Other than that my grandparents never see or hear from these fuckheads. Now my grandparents defend them by saying "Well they live in Pumpkin, it's hard for them to make a trip to Tootsie Pop." Fuck that shit. I fucking live in Jolley Rancher and I manage to make a trip home to see them on a regular basis. Not only that I at least pick up the fucking phone and call them once a week, just to say "Hello!" Paris hasn't come to see my grandparents since 2000 and John Popper hasn't been to Tootsie Pop since 1996! The only time my grandparents see these fuckheads is when my grandparents go visit them! Then they stay stuffed in a hotel room until they take these fuckheads to dinner or the mall! Now, so you understand why I'm pissed? I refuse to share my grandparents with these fuckheads! I'm not going to let them steal my grandparents time, money, food, and most importantly my bed! When I go home, I do not stay at my mothers house, I stay at my grandparents house. That bedroom is known as my bedroom. It's always been my bedroom and it will always remain my bedroom. Although I hate fucking Christmas, my family knows I will be home for the holidays. So it is to be assumed that I will be staying at my grandparents house, because I always do. So, for my grandparents to tell these fuckheads they can stay at their house and sleep in my room, I will not allow it! Those fuck heads can get a fucking hotel! I'm so enraged that I have to share my family, my time, and my bedroom with these fuckheads. I don't want to see these fuckheads, I don't want to talk to them, I don't want to buy them a gift for a fucking holiday I don't support, I will not entertain them, and I will not pretend to be nice to them. I plan to destroy! I will get into a lot of arguments, I will receive a ton of slaps across the face for my smart ass comments, and maybe some dirty looks but I will win the battle! I will destroy!!!
*Posh - Prepare yourself! For I will be in the mood to raise hell in the land of Tootsie Pop and destroy all that get in my path! Prepare now! For we will battle for justice!
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